La Douleur Exquise
by thefrostedrose
Summary: noun The exquisite pain of loving someone you can never have :: 50 prompts, post-Enchantress :: Aten/Virginia/Marethyu


_I did one of these before, after The Warlock. This one will be less fluff, I feel, and more angst. Spoilers for the Enchantress, obviously. _

* * *

**1. Beautiful**

The coronation takes place in front of millions and millions of people, humans and Elders alike. Aten is used to the attention, but she feels subconscious, a faint blush crawling up her cheeks. The people can't stop staring at her - the long, black shiny hair, flawless pale skin, dark lashes and bright grey eyes. And the glowing silver crown on top of her head.

Though he is not seen in the crowd, he wishes he could assure her that she looks beautiful.

**2. Heart**

His lack of heartbeat startles her. Her fingers immediately drift over her own throbbing pulse to reassure herself that hers is still beating. He opens his mouth to tell her that his is still there - it just belongs to her, but he closes it with out a word.

**3. Smile**

He tries so hard to advise her and Aten on the running of an empire seriously, but then she makes on sarcastic remark, points out something ironic and teases him gently, and he breaks out into a grin.

"You should smile more." She grins herself. "It's beautiful."

**4. Feeling**

Seeing her so young is shocking. The girl standing in front of him, no more than seven, looks so different - so skittish, and apprehensive, and scared. A myriad of feelings rush through him.

"Be good, Virginia." He says softly, patting her gently on the head before disappearing into the Carolina woods.

**5. Knowledge**

"So you know everything?" He nods. She smiles. "Then tell me something about me, that no one knows."

"You're terrified of being Queen." He whispers, and the grin slides off of her face. "You always think that you'll mess something up, and sometimes you just want to run back to the future and hide. But," He leans closer. "What you don't know, is that you'll be a fabulous queen."

**6. Ageless**

"Don't you think I'm a bit too old for you?" She snickers one day. He smirks.

"I think I should be the one asking that question now."

**7. Time**

It seems that with every blink of an eye, generations have passed by. They both never change - constants in an ever dynamic world. They don't mind. They have all the time in the world.

Or most of it, anyway.

**8. Desire**

They can never be anything - after all, if the public found out how much she desired him, Death, they would be disenchanted. That does not stop the hushed whispers, secret kisses, and hot touches.

**9. Dramatic**

"This is all quite dramatic, isn't it?" She whispers on one dark night, looking up at the ceiling. "This...torrid affair of ours."

"Shakespeare would write a hell of a play out of us." He remarks, and she laughs.

"Yes, the Queen and Death. What a story that would have made."

**10. Subdued**

She was never quite the controlled personality, and it shows when she ends up yelling at advisors and strategists for their stupidity. He, on the other hand, has mastered the art of being calm, and acts as a counter balance to her, allowing her to make her see reason in the most insane times.

**11. Gold**

The royal palace is mostly silver - a sharp contrast to the old one in Danu Talis. She likes it the way it is, but the more time he spends in their present, advising the rulers of this new world, the more gold, the same gold as his aura was, seeps back into the walls, in the form of vases, sheets, and pillows.

**12. Silver**

Her eyes are the prettiest grey color, but when she laughs, and jokes or becomes particularly excited, the light up, glowing, in the most remarkable shade of silver.

**13. Dark**

They're in her bedroom, and his rough, calloused hands are running over her smooth skin, he's placing hot kisses all over her body, and everything's a hazy mix of pain and pleasure and then finally it's like lightning strikes within them, the world turns white and she hopes that the darkness can smother their sinful feelings.

**14. Light**

His hair is light, like sunlight. It's soft, and she runs her hands through it constantly. In fact, everything about him is light, from his clothing to even his sunny demeanor.

She finds it amusing that even though his is Death, he is pure brightness.

**15. Twilight**

They can only really meet without disturbance at twilight, just as everyone in the palace is settling down, going their own separate ways. She squeezes his hand as the stars begin to blink in the sky, He points out all the constellations, knows all the stories behind them. She could fall asleep to the melodic harmony of his voice, and sometimes she does.

**16. Dawn**

One time of day she never experiences with him is dawn. He always sneaks out of her room before she wakes up. When she does wake up, she watches the sunrise out of her window, and hopes that the next day will be different.

It never is.

**17. Power**

"I could reverse the Change, if you like." He suggests.

"Would you?" She asks, looking over at him. He shrugs.

"No one wants a deformed king that's just going to wither away." He says softly, and with a slash of his hook, she knows that something has changed.

**18. Protect**

Aten watches them carefully. He knows that there is something going on between them, even though she always denies it when he cares to ask. But he is not blind to their long looks, secret touches, and blushing grins. He knows that Marethyu cannot stay forever though, and vows to make sure she isn't hurt when he leaves.

**19. Intensity**

Everything about him is intense, but especially his kisses. His lips are crushed so hard against hers, his tongue aggressive and dominant, and his hips and body is pressed so close to hers she can hardly think. Her hands run through his hair, and she moans into his mouth. They always leave her breathless, and craving for more.

**20. Faith**

"I can't stay much longer. But I'll be back soon, alright?"

"Okay." She nods, knowing they've had this conversation so many time before. She knows there is no way of her knowing when he is coming back, or trying to find them, so she just has to have faith.

**21. Pray**

"Please, please, just let him come back."

He doesn't.

**22. Courage**

"Virginia?" She looks up at Aten, who is shifting on his feet nervously in front of her.

"Hm?" He takes awhile to answer. She's been so off these last few months, like she cannot function without the hook handed man.

"Do you want to go for a walk with me?"

"Like a date?" She smirks.

"...If you want to call it that." She thinks that she might as well do something - it was better than skulking around all day.

"Sure."

**23. Cool**

Aten's lips are cool, but in a wonderful way. They are like an oasis to her, and she craves them like someone in the desert craves water. The thirst burns in her throat, and only his kisses can remedy it.

**24. Warm**

She is glad that their relationship isn't secret. It's nice being able to hold his hand in public, being able to kiss him without having to hide behind a pillar or something. She eagerly embraces him, and doesn't care who watches as she buries himself in his warmth.

**25. Whisper**

Late at night, when she's curled up in his arms, he can't help but wonder if life could be any more perfect. When he thinks she's asleep, he whispers, "I love you" as softly as he can. She's awake, and hears every word.

She grins softly to herself, and snuggles closer to him.

**26. Secret**

"Can I tell you something?" She says seriously, squeezing his hand. "And this stays between us."

"Of course."

"...I'm afraid of clowns." Aten bursts out into laughter. "Don't laugh!"

**27. Promise**

"You aren't going to leave, are you?" She whispers into Aten's shoulder. He pulls her closer to him.

"Never."

**28. Strength**

Aten is her strength. He brings out the best parts of her; her tenacity, her ambition, her compassion, her intelligence, her love for her people. He brings her warmth, and supports her unconditionally in every endeavor. He makes her feel on top of the world, like she can do anything.

**29. Weakness**

On the other hand, Marethyu - Josh, was, or maybe still is, her weakness. He brings out her selfishness, her jealously, her hatred. She doesn't like the feelings that fill her when they're together, but it's better than the coldness that washes over her when they're apart. His kisses are an addiction, and she can't escape them no matter how much she loves Aten.

**30. Love**

Despite his long absense, Marethyu's love for Virginia does not waver. He, despite himself, his destiny, his being, loves ever single fiber of her being. He loves the best parts of herself, and the worst parts of herself as well. He loves her soft smiles, her hungry kisses, and her lovely voice. And when he returns to the time after Danu Talis, he expects her to run back into his arms.

She does not.

**31. Hate**

Marethyu used to like Aten.

He hates him now.

Hates the way they look at each other, hates their smiles and soft touches, hates the way they speak to each other, hates the way everyone loves how much they love each other. He has never hating anything so much in his entire life.

But he could never hate Virginia.

**32. Silence**

The silence when they meet again is defening.

"So..." She whispers. "Here we are."

"Do you love him?" He asks suddenly, and her eyes look troubled.

"Yes." She finally answers. "I do. Very much so."

"That's...good." He replies, and brushes off her outstretched hand while he turns to leave.

**33. Distress**

Seeing him is killing her.

Her love for Aten is not enough to smother her last sinful feelings for Marethyu.

He can barely look at her anymore, and it kills her. She should hate him for what he put her through, but she cannot. This heartache, this distress - she cannot bare it much longer.

**34. Fate**

"I still love you." She tells him one night as she leans against the stone walls of the palace. "It's irrational, since I also love Aten, and you've hurt me so much." Her voice cracks.

He takes a step towards her, his heart soaring.

"You know, we were always fated to be together." He whispers, his hand working its way into her long black hair.

She doesn't protest when he kisses her fiercely.

**35. Commitment**

"Will you marry me, Virginia? Make me the happiest man in the universe?" Her lungs have squeezed around her heart, her stomach leapt into her throat, and she can't move. Aten doesn't seem to notice her inner panic, however.

She loves him. And that is enough.

"Yes. Of course I will, yes!"

**36. Nightmare**

In her dreams, there are always two figures; one dressed in white, the other in black. She can't see their faces. They are both drawing her towards them, and she knows for certain one will lead her to heaven and the other will drag her to hell. They are both closing in on her so fast that she can barely think.

She always wakes up breathing heavily.

Her nightmare has become a reality.

**37. Surprise**

She never tells Marethyu of her and Aten's engagement. They are at a state dinner, all of them, and when she raises her hand to gesture at the general splendor, he sees the glittering ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. Time stops, he freezes, and Virginia catches his eye. Hers are filled with sympathy but also happiness, sure that what she is doing is right.

**38. Death**

His heart does not beat, but he had always thought it lived.

But it has now died.

**39. Moon**

They meet by the light of the moon.

"You're really going to marry him, aren't you?" He says coldly. She nods.

"I love him."

"And you do not love me?"

"I love you, too, but Aten is a constant and you're...you're a variable." The silence is long.

"You were never one to go for the safe option, Virginia."

"...I'm sorry, but you aren't going to change my mind."

**40. Sun**

It is ironic that they get married on one of the sunniest days of the year, since Aten is worshiped as a sun god. Thousands of people turn out, and they all fall silent as she walks towards Aten - the white dress, a strapless, drop-waist ball gown is stunning, and every inch of the occasion is perfect.

Marethyu watches the happy couple from afar, and tries not to picture himself up there with her instead of Aten.

**41. Star**

"Just remember," Aten whispers. "We'll always be looking at the same sun, the same moon, the same stars." He is leaving on a royal visit, and it is the first time in the months since their wedding. She nods sadly before throwing her arms around his neck in a hug. She places a long, sweet kiss on his lips before stepping back from him.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

**42. Tower**

"Are you happy?" Marethyu comes to stand behind her as she looks out the window of one of the large, winding towers to the palace, trying to look for Aten's party, even though he won't be back for days. She tears her eyes from the window to look at him, her heart leaping into her throat.

She cannot hold herself back any longer - though she loves Aten tremendously, Marethyu haunts all of her thoughts. Thoughts of what could have been. And, admittedly, she's never wanted anyone more in her life.

So she lets herself become subject to his hot touches, passionate kisses, and heated embraces if just for one night.

**43. Stranger**

All of a sudden, in the coming weeks, strangers Marethyu has never seen before are rushing around the palace. Virginia hasn't left her room in days, and these men, these doctors, he realizes, have been visiting her.

"She's going to have a baby." Aten announces breathlessly, looking both terrified and excited. Marethyu blinks in shock, but Aten has rushed away before he can say another word.

**44. Familiar**

She grew up without family, without anyone really, and she always found herself a tad awkward with children, but when she finds herself holding her daughter, so tiny and soft and adorable, it feels completely natural.

**45. Forgotten**

Aten and Virginia dote on darling Eleanor, or Ellie as they affectionately call her, so much in the next few months that they are surprised at the amount of court issues that have piled up.

"You won't mind watching Ellie for a few hours, would you?" She says, handing off the yawning infant to Marethyu. It's the first few words she has said to him since the child has been born. He blinks at the child in his arms, and he's never felt a connection to anyone so much so in his entire life. "Oh, you didn't think we forgot about you, did you?"

**46. Memory**

Even though she always spends all of her time with her husband and giggling daughter, Marethyu doesn't fade from her mind. He comes and goes, and it hurts her that he doesn't stay.

It seems that everything they had is just a distant memory.

**47. Change**

Months fly by, and Ellie turns from a tiny baby into a charming toddler. She has seemingly endless energy, and always has a smile on her face as she runs around the palace. While Ellie flourishes, though, Marethyu can see Virginia start to change, too.

But not for the better.

She's always been pale, but she's too pale now, almost sick in color. It's like she's withering away - she's too thin, and refuses to eat. Her skin is freezing to the touch, and though she insists she's fine, she is obviously not.

**48. Color**

"Stop worrying!" She jokes quietly, but Marethyu's hard expression remains.

"You don't look well, Virginia." He says, feeling her head with concern. "And you're burning up."

"I'm fine!" She says sternly, but he can hear the tremor in her voice. She starts to cough, and when she finally lowers the edge of her sleeve from her mouth, it's stained with red.

**49. Shadow**

He is a shadow by her bedside.

Aten responds by having the best doctors being rushed in from around the world, and is in a panic.

_"But she's immortal - how can she be dying?"_

No one notices Marethyu anymore. His heart tears with each of her labored breaths, each pained gasp for air. She can't leave her bedroom, and spends most of her time in a restless sleep.

He knows tuberculosis when he sees it, and he also knows she won't be surviving this.

**50. Breath**

"Josh?" He's surprised to hear her voice, especially so late at night.

"You should be resting." He says, moving to sit on her bed.

"Can't sleep." She whispers, feebly trying to pull up her blankets. He does it for her, and takes her hand in his, now so small it's almost childlike. "She's yours, you know. I've known ever since she was born. Aten knows, I think, but treats her as his own." Her words are so labored and rough and he begs her to save her breath, but she continues, looking straight into his eyes. "Take care of her, Josh. Please, take care of her for me."

"I will." He replies softly, his eyes unwillingly filling with tears. "Don't die, Virginia. Please, for me."

"I love you." She says, her voice barely audible.

"I...love you too." He replies, and when she breaths again, he knows he never will again.

He walks outside her room without another word, only to find little Ellie, teddy bear and blanket in hand, staring up at him in her pajamas and bare feet.

"Where's Mama?" She asks, looking around him. He sighs, moving onto his knees. She looks like Virginia, with her pale skin and black hair. But the cheekbones, and the bright blue eyes, he knows are his.

"She's not here right now, Ellie." He whispers, patting her on the head. "Let's go, okay?" He lifts his daughter up into his arms.

"Where are we going?" She says. In his mind, he can almost picture the wild woods and shores of North Carolina that she loved so much.

"Home." He answers, before they blink out of existence.


End file.
